[ She holds him a little tighter in turn, and she feels like she's choking, like her ribcage is squeezing her heart, threatening to burst. ]
[ You have done nothing that needs forgiving, she wants to say, but that's not entirely true, is it? What he shared just now... His acceptance of Eren's burden. He would have done it, wouldn't he? If Eren had just asked for their help instead of pushing them away... Is that what he wants forgiveness for? ]
[ He didn't. ]
[ But he would have. ]
[ She's not sure about herself, either. In some world, in some reality, perhaps it would have been all three of them against the world. ]
[ Can she forgive Eren? All that death and trampled lives? She doesn't feel it her place. In death, perhaps she already has; she once said that she only has room in her heart for a few people, and yet, she could not let him continue. Perhaps she can't, but it doesn't make her love him any less. ]
[ Perhaps Armin is talking about the book, about perhaps inadvertently setting Eren on his path of destruction. But Mikasa knows -- feels, perhaps -- better than anyone how unavoidable it was. Even if it never happened, something else would have. Those were the dreams she had, were they not? Visions? A gift from Ymir? She's not sure. ]
...Yes.
[ She mutters into his shoulder, holding him close. ]
Can you forgive me?..
[ It was her hand, after all, that took him away from them with resounding finality -- even if, she supposes, most of Eren had been gone a while before that. ]
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[ She holds him a little tighter in turn, and she feels like she's choking, like her ribcage is squeezing her heart, threatening to burst. ]
[ You have done nothing that needs forgiving, she wants to say, but that's not entirely true, is it? What he shared just now... His acceptance of Eren's burden. He would have done it, wouldn't he? If Eren had just asked for their help instead of pushing them away... Is that what he wants forgiveness for? ]
[ He didn't. ]
[ But he would have. ]
[ She's not sure about herself, either. In some world, in some reality, perhaps it would have been all three of them against the world. ]
[ Can she forgive Eren? All that death and trampled lives? She doesn't feel it her place. In death, perhaps she already has; she once said that she only has room in her heart for a few people, and yet, she could not let him continue. Perhaps she can't, but it doesn't make her love him any less. ]
[ Perhaps Armin is talking about the book, about perhaps inadvertently setting Eren on his path of destruction. But Mikasa knows -- feels, perhaps -- better than anyone how unavoidable it was. Even if it never happened, something else would have. Those were the dreams she had, were they not? Visions? A gift from Ymir? She's not sure. ]
...Yes.
[ She mutters into his shoulder, holding him close. ]
Can you forgive me?..
[ It was her hand, after all, that took him away from them with resounding finality -- even if, she supposes, most of Eren had been gone a while before that. ]